Ruth had been through a lot in her life. She knows what it is like to have a rough go of it. But nothing compares to this.

      
  Ruth had lived her entire life grasping onto what little she had …but she didn't consider it little.   She had her faith …and a son and daughter.
  
  Now, the news of her son paralyzes any thoughts of normal activity. Rational thoughts become irrational.  Panic quickly sets in.  It's times like these that you need someone to totally take over.                                                                         

  Through the years, Rebekkah had been there for her.  She didn’t have to ask, Rebekkah just naturally always took over.   And the same was true of Cindy's dad.   There is nothing of higher worth than the support he offered his daughter.   Ken stood as a stalwart pillar.                                                                           

  But lost in it all, is Shannon. She still is unable to share how she  feels.  No one really quite knows how it is still affecting her, except God.  God knows …God always knows.  And that’s where Shannon turns. 
  
  Shannon had never shared how she felt. Expectations were always high.  She knew it was expected of her to call him ‘Dad’, but she had so much locked inside her that she couldn’t express ...not knowing quite how to express it. 
  
  Shannon is directed to a separate area of the house with Leah and Josiah, so the adults can talk.  She watches Leah and Josiah play.   As of yet, they have no clue of what has happened.  Really, no one knows much …but Shannon does know things are not looking good.  As Leah and Josiah play, she prays. 

The television news reports ...

  “There is a prisoner by the name of  Amos Maccabee, who has escaped from Huron Valley Center prison late  last evening.   Initially, it was suspected that someone was behind the prison break, but we have some new developments.   We are going to  take you to Robin Seymore, at the Ann Arbor Burn Center."   

Over the television screen ...

   “This is Robin Seymore, at the Ann Arbor Burn Center.  The word here is that two college age boys, both believed to be enrolled in the University of Michigan, were putting the finishing touches on a rocket they were building.  A girlfriend of one of the students said it was supposed to be launched this coming New Year’s Eve, equipped with several side launchers, to explode into the sky for a fireworks extravaganza.  But there will be no New Year’s Eve celebration for these two.  The one has lost his sight and one leg, but is expected to survive.   The condition of the other is uncertain, other than the fact that he is still fighting for his life.   As is the case with a large number of burn victims, this one is also a result of a careless cigarette smoker.  Thankfully, in this case, there was a third party present who was able to act quickly.   Rescue teams always have a very difficult job, but their main concern is that they’re called in time, so they can do their job.   In this case, they were able to save a life, and hopefully they will be able to save two.  This is Robin Seymore, at the Ann Arbor Burn Center.  Back to you, Loren.”

       “Thank you, Robin.   It appears that this is not a case of a planned prison escape, but rather an eventual expected outcome in the life of, by definition, what we would call an opportunist.   An opportunist's actions are guided ---or should we say, misguided ---by circumstances, or as we say, opportunities.   Opportunists will use any available opportunity to further their interests without regard to possible eventual consequences.   That attitude breeds criminal behavior and has landed many of them here.   To many, prison is the ultimate consequence, and that present reality fuels an even more driven desire to rectify what they consider an unfortunate interruption in their life.  They will never admit that their plan was wrong, and they will continually pursue it, at any cost.  They will even tell you, "I have nothing to lose!"   And they have a lifetime to wait …for that one moment.   Sooner or later someone will mess up, or an opportunity will present itself …and they will not hesitate to take that calculated chance, irregardless of the cost to them or others.   So, the authorities are asking everyone to be on heightened alert.  This man is unpredictable and is to be considered extremely dangerous.   I've just been told by our investigative team of further developments in this story, so we will take you to Bill Underwood.”

“This is Bill Underwood. One of our reporters has just visited the hospital in Saline where the injured perimeter guard was taken to. She says she was not allowed to talk directly to the guard, but was told by a visiting security officer that the guard was taking aim at the escaping prisoner, who had stepped beyond the perimeter, when he was grabbed from behind. The guard was unable to remember anything after that, but he has sustained a couple broken ribs and a mild concussion. I am presently outside of Huron Valley Center. We can’t get near enough to see the damage, but I am told the cost may be astronomical. Many of the prison workers have been here for over twenty-four hours. Just now, are they allowing some of those employees to alternate for a couple hours break until they can get additional help in here. I have here, a gentleman by the name of Casey. Now Casey, is it correct that you were told not to talk with anyone from the press or media?”

Casey laughs, “That’s one of their policies, they say.  They say they will eventually designate one of their administrative people to talk with you, but they will only report what they want you to hear.   I believe the public has a right to know the full story.”

   Bill Underwood: “And you were actually working on the unit where the explosion took place last evening?”
                  

               Casey: “That’s correct.”
                  

   Bill Underwood: “So, Casey, tell us what happened. The public, myself included, not only feel we have the right to know, but we are grateful you’ve stepped forward to share this information with us.” 

                  

              Casey: “The explosion rocked the place.   It about knocked me down. All I could see at the end of one hall was smoke and flames.  I checked to see if my supervisor and other co-worker were okay.   Once I saw they were okay, my next concern was the safety of the prisoners.  I began evacuation procedures.   A few of the prisoners were trapped behind the fiery blaze.  The heat was so intense, I almost passed out, but the fire extinguisher finally did the trick.   Once the Security Supervisor said the threat of fire was over, we top-locked the prisoners in their rooms.  One  prisoner, Amos Maccabee, or as he calls himself, Tennessee Trucker, was missing.  Our employee count showed that my co-worker, Stephen Razohn, was also missing.  By himself, Tennessee Trucker, is not very capable.  He can be very dangerous, but it is my opinion that he is not intelligent enough to successfully escape and continue to elude the police."                                                        

   Bill Underwood:  "Is it of your opinion that Stephen Razohn helped Amos Maccabee escape?"        

              Casey:  "Everyone who works here is always considered a qualified professional.  This investigation will be based upon fact, not opinions.  But the fact is, we deal with emergencies every day.  And in providing a secure prison, we act professionally …so even in situations like this, prison breaks don't usually happen, unless someone from the inside helps.  That  is just a fact.  Relationships and friendships are not supposed to be formed between guards and prisoners, but it does happen.  Didn't you mention that one of your reporters stated that the guard was grabbed from behind as he took aim at the escaping prisoner?"                                                                                                                                                          

   Bill Underwood (aside): “Amos Maccabee is a criminal …that we know.  Stephen Razohn, we don't know …but lots of people, including the Department of Corrections are very interested in knowing.  And we should know too.  It is our right to know.  We have the right to be protected from this sort of thing happening."                                                                                 

   Ruth turns off the television.  She can take no more of this.  Cindy and Ruth hug …and cry.
                   

   Rebekkah turns to Ken, “An opportunist, they say!  Who I consider the real opportunists are the reporters.  They grasp the opportunity and they don’t care who they hurt.”

So many stories are going around. Even at church, the stories circulate. Fernye had heard that Lisa Stone has missed several days of work. No one has seen her ….and she doesn’t answer any of their calls. That is still a loose end. The authorities are working quickly and several surprises are rumored to be trickling in. Sadly, the church is helping add to those rumors.

   Word is that the Director of Huron Valley Center prison, Frank Bodin, has been arrested.  That surprise quickly makes the national news.  But other surprises are crucial to keep off the news ….like the one that the authorities have planned for Trucker.  They have a list of contacts and are awaiting his arrival in Tennessee.  They believe they have a firm handle on it.  But they are the ones who are soon surprised.  It so happens that it is not Tennessee Trucker who is missing.  It is Crazy Larry.                                                               

   Rebekkah is furious!  How could they have made that mistake?                                                                                  

   This latest news is not well-received by Stephen's family.  That bit of hope that they'd been clinging onto is now quickly diminishing.  They aren't even close to the possibility of retrieving Stephen.  Certainly the family is even more desperate than the authorities for him to be found, and eager for his innocence to be declared.  But it doesn't seem to be any time soon forthcoming.

 Apparently, Casey and his supervisor were not telling the story the way it had happened.  They were telling it so they didn’t look bad.   Much had to have gone wrong and they couldn’t have done their job right.  They did not do a thorough count.   And how did Tennessee Trucker get locked in Crazy Larry’s room?   How did it take so long for them to notice their mistake?

Life sometimes has strange and almost unbelievable connections.  One of the most bizarre of these connections is between Rebekkah and Crazy Larry.  She doesn’t discuss it.  To see her react when she'd heard it was Crazy Larry who had escaped, you’d think she really feared him and what he may do.  But nothing could be further from the truth.                                                                                       

Rebekkah trusts Larry.   Her concern is with those who want to  conceal Larry's true identity.   She definitely does not trust them.  The problem is that so far they'd been successful in concealing not only his identity, but also the reason why.    
                
Rebekkah does not consider her connection with Crazy Larry to be bizarre.  She looks at it as directed by God.   Only Ruth and a few other people know of her connection to Larry.  That connection had actually brought about a bit of salvation to Rebekkah’s life.  But it hadn't helped Larry's lot in life.  He had been sent from a Mental Institution to prison.                                                                                                                            

Rebekkah had tried to get Larry acquitted, but she was not successful. It was rare that she did not achieve what she set out to do.  And she was still very unhappy and upset about that!

     This bit of knowledge she would not share with Cindy.   And though it comforted Rebekkah somewhat, it did not bring her any closer to finding Stephen.  Too much time had passed while looking in Tennessee.  Yet, still, Rebekkah is comforted by the fact that she doesn’t believe Crazy Larry will hurt Stephen.  She doesn’t believe he’d intentionally hurt anyone.

Rebekkah has the priest’s attention.

She is able to direct her question in a careful manner,  “I know that often you hear things that no one else hears.  You are often the first consideration of those desperately seeking refuge, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual.   Has anyone come to you seeking help?” 

                  
The priest laughs, “Well, yes.  Everyone seems to fit one of those categories.” 
                  
Rebekkah doesn’t know what she'd expected.  She has to get to the point, “Okay, I’ll be more specific.  Someone escaped from a Michigan prison and we have reason to believe they may be in this area.”

The priest explains, “Our town is close knit in many ways. We are not too large that things happen without at least someone knowing about it.   And our town certainly is not exempt from many of the same things that happen in large cities.  Yes, there are times only I know about such things. But you must understand, people come to me to confide in me.  I cannot discuss those matters with you.  You must understand.” 

                
Rebekkah does understand.  But it doesn’t make her any less mad. Yet, she has to consider who she is really mad at.  When everything seems to go wrong, it’s because of a world of wrong.  Thankfully though, we have a God of restoration.
                
Rebekkah sits outside on the church steps, contemplating all this.  Restoration . . .isn’t that what everyone wants?   Sadly enough . . .no, it isn’t.
                
Who will come to confess their sin?  Rebekkah hopes the priest has many who will return to private confessions today.  Let the guilt provide a few more moments of torment.  Perhaps multiple confessions will be in order.  

Rebekkah hopes she is not the only one who feels this way.                                                                 

The priest holds private confessions.  Slowly, people arrive. Rebekkah thinks of the various atrocities that are committed each day.  Those who commit them, have obviously moved far from God.  Or could they possibly follow God, yet have an area of their life unresolved?  And how long would it be unresolved? Rebekkah reflects on her own shortcomings, her own sins.  With God, there is no small sin or big sin, it's all the same.  It all fits into the category of …sin.
                
How easy it can be to drift away from God when we are not being held accountable …when we live in a society that does not guide us in attempts to achieve accountability.  When we hold our own standard, interpretations of truth vary greatly.  And by letting one of these variations get a foothold, which is a weakness by our very nature, we make it nearly impossible to surrender ourselves to Him.

   Rebekkah has her Bible with her.  She reads the end of the Book of Judges.  Then she considers the things that even a man such as the beloved King David finds opportunity to commit.  Sin and the occasions  for it, never find themselves lacking.  But the inclination to own up to it, becomes increasingly difficult.  Yet, if we truly seek truth and the value of it, God will restore us, just as He restored King David.

So many find no comfort in their sin ...nor should there be. But, oh what a difference in philosophies. Some feel so blessed with God's love, they misinterpret it ...and consider little any sin that perchance entered their life. Others may feel so under the burden, that they are cruelly unfair to themselves ...thinking they can never feel forgiven, because their wrongdoing is too great. It seems both extremes insult God's love. There should be no sin so small that we ourselves should feel we can overlook it, nor should we consider any sin too great that God cannot forgive it.

   Rebekkah finds comfort as she reads. She cross-references the section of Psalms with the first Chapter of the Book of Isaiah.  As she finishes reading the chapter, the same woman with the long white dress emerges from the church.  Her face is no longer troubled.                                                              

   Rebekkah feels a breeze.  The air is crisp and refreshing.  The woman is alert and looking about, free from the restraints of one who struggles with unforgiveness.   

   Free from the grasp of judgment, of self or others, the woman is free to speak, “Oh, I see you’re reading the Bible!”
                   
   Rebekkah finds herself free of the appearance of a vagrant, sitting on the church steps.  Now they are on an equal standing.  The woman can now share on a personal level, “It makes the whole difference, doesn’t it?  I feel so much better.  Last week the priest said I was too set in my ways. And he was right.  I always sit on the left side of the church and go to the left confessional booth.  I was so much un-right, I didn’t know what was left to my life.  It seems silly, but I was so much left this and left that, I felt left out.   But today, I wanted to get things right.  So I sat on the right side and went into the right confessional.  I don’t know how to explain the feeling, but it seemed to make the whole difference.  It just seemed to make everything right.
                         
   Rebekkah feels this isn’t right at all. Mixing too much of odd lots of tradition and habitual mind sets, too mindless open-mindedness and sadly superstitious.
                 

The woman with the white dress gives her a lead ...but it leads to nowhere. Yet, she again gets insight into human behavior.

   Rebekkah believes that through the sacrifice and shed blood of Jesus, she gains direct access to God.
                  
   She recalls reading how Jesus dispersed a crowd of people who were about to stone a woman.  Jesus then told the woman to go and sin no more.  And what about the occasion when a man was sick of the palsy. Jesus told him that his sins were forgiven.  Then He told him to get up and walk.   Only once did Jesus tell someone to go to the priest.  It was not to confess sin.  Jesus told the lepers to go to the priests, to show themselves clean.  As we go to the hospital to get permission to return back to work, they needed permission to physically return back to society, a clean bill of health.

She also considers, how did the apostles, ambassadors of Jesus Christ, teach forgiveness?   Wasn’t it repentance, the direction of truth, the acceptance of truth, and restoration?

    How do others deal with their sin, perhaps waiting several days for the scheduling of the booth times?  Rebekkah looks again at the fifth Chapter of the Epistle of James.   It is not a secret thing between you and a priest, or even necessarily the two of you and God.  We are to confess our faults to one another …and pray for one another.   Of course, we pray to God, confessing our sins.  But it’s also about our relationships to one another, exercising the love God has taught us.

Rebekkah had written all these references down on the inside cover of her Bible. That was several years ago, when she’d attended a Bible study. She had been given the verses to look up and she had written them down, but she hadn’t looked them up. What the Bible study teacher said that following week really convicted her …emphasizing the importance of truly seeking Him. How can we say we are truly seeking Him if we don’t even find the time. Rebekkah realizes that she is often guilty of this very thing. And it is mostly when we want something, like Rebekkah does now, that we more wholly turn to Him.

   Rebekkah admits to God that she wants Him to show her that Crazy Larry had been here.  But that would only be a stepping stone to her eventually finding Stephen. That is a good thing to ask of God, is it not?
                   
   The Bible study teacher had further recommended that we continually evaluate how well we are following Jesus.  Often, in actuality, once we profess a commitment to follow Him, we seem to expect Him to bless us  as He follows us …instead of following Him as we are supposed to.
                   
   The Bible study teacher was correct.  The Bible study teacher was usually correct.  The Bible study teacher was …Fernye.

   Cindy realizes this can’t go on.  She has to tell them something, but what?  

   The truth??
                  
   She decides to tell a story first.  Leah and Josiah had seen the cartoon video many times at home ...they are very familiar with this particular story.                                                       

    Cindy opens her Bible and reads the story to them.  It is the story of the Good Samaritan.
                  
    Leah and Josiah listen to the story attentively.  Then Cindy adds, “Daddy got hurt like the man in the story did.   But when Daddy cried out for help, no one helped. Then he got so weak that no one could hear him cry for help.  And we don’t know where he is.”
                  
    Leah scrunches her little forehead into a frown-line, “Jesus can hear him cry.  Why doesn’t Jesus help Dad?”

Cindy doesn’t know what to say, but words come nonetheless, “Yes, God can always hear us cry.  Maybe God is helping Dad.  Maybe God will bring Dad food like He did for Elijah.  Remember the story of Elijah?  God had ravens bring Elijah food to eat when Elijah was all by himself.”
     
  Leah recalls, “Dad told the story to us.  He said Elijah was raven—ous. That means, real hungry.”
     
  Cindy smiles as they smile at the mention of Dad, but Cindy feels bad. How much liberty had she taken in trying to tell them that their Dad was hurt and missing?   And what about the part where God was taking care of him?   
     
  Well, that would be true in either occasion. If Stephen is alive, God will be keeping him alive.   And if Stephen isn’t alive, he’s even more alive. Stephen would be with God and he certainly would be taken care of.  Yes, that understanding is critically important ...never lose focus on that truth.  

   It is difficult enough knowing and living the truth. But why?   Jesus said the truth shall set us free.  

   Cindy realizes that the longer Stephen remains missing, it becomes  less and less likely that they will ever locate him.   And the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, may never be known.  But maybe it’s best that way for the children.   Maybe it’s best for all of them.   It is not the truth about Stephen that will set them free.
    
   She realizes that she must focus on the truths of God.  We establish our own purposes and when we lose them, we find ourselves without purpose. But we must realize our only purpose is to live for the truths of God ...and to pass that purpose on to our children, the design purposed in our creation. 

Shannon has another task she is involved in. She is so eager, she drops the key. There are many things stashed away in the attic. The key … where is the key? Where did it fall?

   She drops to her knees.  She can’t seem to find the key, but she persists.  

   It must be here someplace.        
                   
   There it is!
                   
   This time she slows down and takes great care to insert the key in the lock.   

                    
   It opens ---yes!

This chest contains mostly newspaper clippings.

December 26th 2004, Tsunami  takes the lives of 140 thousand plus and millions are left homeless.  A manila envelope contains a cassette tape, labeled January 24th 2005, Oprah Winfrey ...Horrific genocide going on in Sudan.                                                        

More newspaper clippings:  Israel leaves the Gaza Strip …..No peace between Israel and Lebanon, yet fighting is repressed.  Hurricane Katrina, no mercy, yet countless show mercy.                                                                                                                                                                                            

Shannon lifts the stack of random newspaper articles, setting them aside.  Dad must have gone through the clippings shortly before he'd disappeared, the most recent articles on the bottom.  Hillary Clinton, April 2008: Will she be able to reconcile and salvage their party, bringing strength to Obama against the McCain campaign?  Myanmar government refuses relief efforts.  China ...shock, shock and aftershock.  

Stock
               market
                                 woes!!                                                                                            

Beneath all those clippings are a stack of notebooks.  She lifts the top notebook and tilts it towards the dim light.   She recognizes Dad’s writing.
Dad had handwritten the title in ink:  The Essence                 . 
                 

Shannon needs no explanation for that.   She knows the reference.   He must have written it after the prayer in school fiasco, right before he and Mom got married.

Shannon decides to tune them out for awhile. She can show them this treasure later. As she opens to the first page, there is a typed paper taped within the notebook. It's typed, yet appears choppy and unfinished. Meanwhile, she begins to quietly read:

     "What is, or who is, the Essence?    Ever since the years of those great movies, The Ten Commandments, ….Ben-Hur, …..those years were followed by many years of trying to  exclude Jesus, and though there is a resurgence of interest in Jesus, most often they are inclusive of who He is not.   The popular Da Vinci Code brings disturbing light to that which has no light of truth.   But even when truth is sought, tradition is such a powerful force …that when reckoned with, the disturbing result often brings people further away from the truth than when they were not seeking the truth at all.  Most seem satisfied with some truth ….and do not want to challenge tradition, even when it is in error.  The most disturbing is that it tends to bring them even further from the faith, and breeds doubt…so, that being the case, it would appear better to leave them in a less damaging state of ignorance, because the simple faith often has less complexities than simple truth detailed.  It is therefore often best not to present the details when, with first presentation, the simple truth suffices to introduce He whom the relationship is to be established through; and where growth will be evidenced through the continuance of that relationship.   It's these thoughts, among others, whose tendencies evoke hesitation on my part in sharing my story of the Essence; as it may likely be misread and misunderstood for its intent and content.  So, to avoid adding to the confusion, I am opting not to pursue distribution or publication of this writing.   What I, myself, do not fully understand …is, why have I hesitated so in the discarding of this piece?  I must have not totally reconciled myself with it, for it still exists.   Do I still have a future hope that it could perhaps somehow be read for its intent …which as time goes on, becomes a mere cloudy issue even to me?"  

She turns the page and continues to read:

    "Society is at its best when it can be stirred to tears instead of anger.  When we hear things that touch our hearts, we naturally want others to hear …for their hearts to be touched in equal measure.  But often they don't hear it the way we hear it.  They know the language, but do not hear the beauty of what is spoken.  For beauty to be expressed, it must be first experienced and shared …or it will simply not be recognized as beauty.  It must also be taught.  Something that is so full of beauty is also full of meaning.  And that is where it has to be experienced.  As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.  To experience, we must first drink of it.   That also has literal truth, which in some cases is troublesome at best.  I am referring to the drunken state that some tend to frequent.  So, we can drink of, or experience …the good and the bad.  But when speaking of good, when it is so good that we can barely draw a breath to it, to speak of it would merely draw breath away from it.   I am not speaking of speaking in tongues.  Adding my voice merely creates the deception of fathoming that I could ever even be a part of any of His majesty.  For in thinking I own a part, actually brings me apart.  He has bought me a part of His glory through His Son …which I can only partake in through accepting and representing the truth of who He is, glorifying Him.  There is nothing new about it.  But what we often cling to is what we view as nothing new …which usually is not that old, it's just old to each of us, through our brief lifespan.  People cling to traditions, and to that which is common, which is not common at all, but often well-devised deceptions to draw away from the common truths …which in simplicity are spectacular.  The complexities of our own practiced deceptions appear to hold their own simplicities, yet are simply wrong.  Yet, one of the biggest conflicts arises when we must decide our differences and decide who is the authority in deciding what is best.  There exists a grand distortion of self-proclaimed elite-ism which challenges the very Spirit of God's leading.   The apostle Peter needed to resolve that issue, and the apostle Paul had to also overcome those doubts brought forth concerning his authority.  The other issue lies in the consistency of the approach we take.  Most of the trouble does not arise from God not giving us clear direction …that would require more prayer and patience.  We often create more trouble in claiming that God has directed us to do something. It is so easy to misinterpret our desires for a more lofty claim.   That which is common to us breeds familiarity …the ground that most of us like to stand on.  The temptation and danger with venturing out beyond familiarity to face challenges, brings about some positive growth, though sadly often is short-lived.  Lying in wait is the thrill of placing ourselves in the seat of discovery, not just to discover what is to be discovered, but to discover reasons and creations of things that don't even exist, or which hold no value of truth." 

This is so unbelievably wordy, Shannon is surprised how much of it she actually feels she understands. It is a part of dad that she had never allowed herself to understand.

    She reads on: "What truly exists is then replaced by what we want to exist in our minds …and often it's common to so many of us, it's equally easy to accept.  The desire to share outgrows itself, so the desire is to share what no one has ever before shared…when instead, the risks and challenge we should take, is in sharing the truth which has always been there and is not new at all.  The challenge then becomes not with understanding that which surrounds us, but admitting to that which is so errantly within us ---replacing our pride with the humility of admitting it, and risking unpopularity as we continue to seek amid scoffers and accusations, others pretending to be offended ---while we merely attempt to defend the truth.  
    
   The struggle has always been through our misunderstood desires. It's like the children's book by Eric Carle, entitled The Mixed-Up Chameleon.   When we are cold and hungry and feeling grey and dull, with not a very exciting life, and we consider ourselves small and weak …we may entertain all sorts of desires.  Yet, if we consider that we are weak, but He is strong …and we are to hunger and thirst after His righteousness, then perhaps soon our desires will be His desires for us.  But if we move our focus off what He wants for us, then in reality, we're changing how we represent Him …which leads us to not really accepting Him, but instead some version of what we have created, and we end up not glorifying Him much, or not at all. Instead we begin practicing protective mimicry …to make ourselves look like that which is around us."   


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